Monday 20 May 2019;
Stephen Fry – Mythos, Gods, Hero’s &. Men
August 30 & August 31
Royal Shakespeare Company: As You Like It
September 25 – October 5
Royal Shakespeare Company: Taming Of The Shrew
September 27 – October 3
Royal Shakespeare Company: Measure For Measure
October 1 – October 5
In Conversation With: Margret Atwood
October 30 – November 1
Wednesday 22 May 2019;
You can never love someone as deeply, nor as truly, as you can yearn for and miss them. Apparently anyways.
I think that is shit.
Monday 27 May 2019;
I cannot wait for a morning where I can open my eyes and the first face to painfully brand itself on my retinas is not yours.
Sunday 9 June 2019;
Skream b2b –
Maribou State –
5:25pm-6:25pm; Sounds Of The Near Future
6:55pm-7:45pm; Sounds Of The Near Future
You’re listening to The Streets / lock down your aerials –
8:05pm-9:05pm; Parklife Main Stage
Bicep Boys –
9pm-11pm; Palm House
Thursday 13 June 2019;
Finished my degree with a solid 2:2. Considering I dropped out of my first course; constantly battled with an intense eating disorder; worked full-time at The Palace, Yard & Coop and HSH throughout; spent too many nights in Sankey’s and Hidden’s toilets; had my heart broken twice in the space of four years (good going) and still managed to get a degree? Ultimate wing.
That four year period of destruction is over.
Saturday 15 June 2019;
Gorgeous and funny and nice. Come back. Please.
Just 5 seconds is enough for me.
Monday 17 June 2019;
- Buy Garnier Micellar Water (oil based)
- Buy Mouth Wash (blue expensive one pref.)
- Buy a card holder (I threw up in my last one)
- Put tips in bank. £210.
- Buy plant pot. Spider plant cannot thrive in a bowl.
Friday 21 June 2019;
Media City steps on the way to the pool.
Inhaling second-hand cigarette smoke outside in the sunshine is my favourite smell. There is something peculiarly nostalgic about it which I cannot quite put my finger on.
Tuesday 25 June 2019;
“I’m sad, I’m lonely and I feel like I’m on a merry-go-round trying to bring in the bucks. I’ve lost any sense of who I am and I’m using sex to try and jolt me awake or plug myself into my body or maybe because I’m trying to find some kind of value in a body I have been abusing and under-nourishing for a long time now” – Lily Allen.
Saturday 29 June 2019;
I am absolutely fucking sick to death. What am I really achieving by physically and mentally starving myself on the regular ? A reassuring, hypothetical pat-on-the-back that screams “well done Ella, you do actually have feelings other than being hungry, tired and wanting to have sex. Well fucking done”.
Sunday 30 June 2019;
Make it be. Show me how to fix this. I am stuck.
Monday 1 July 2019;
25.50 / 15.25
Sunday 7 July 2019;
My heart will not shut up about you. Around and around and around. The same echos; the same places; the same sun, and the same moon. The same feelings and the same tightening grip around my throat. Similar but not the same, it has never felt like this. I missed you.
Tuesday 9 July 2019;
Honestly, if this is what genuine love and happiness feels like, then I never want this to end.
Monday 15 July 2019;
Friday 19 July 2019;
Now, I do not want to jump the gun here, but I genuinely think this is it. I have never been so sure of anything, ever.
This is it.
Thursday 25 July 2019;
House plants for the new flat which I probably will not kill:
Saturday 27 July 2019;
I have never felt such stupidity and idiocy on my behalf.
I feel so small and so vastly unimportant.
Ground swallow me whole.