not having an aesthetic is an aesthetic

Pinning perfect tea-time treats that I neither have the skill nor budget for via Pinterest has become a deeply harvested fetish of mine.  This obsession sits comfortably alongside my need to share day-to-day highlights of my cat or my brunch via Instagram.  I am a big advocate for social media but despite my positivity, sometimes I can feel like I do not belong.

I talk about social media frequently.  Not so long ago, I debated about why unfollowing your ex-friends can defog your mindset, as well as admitting that sometimes time out from the internet can be a life-saver.  At the moment, however, social media is making me feel like an outsider, due to my lack of ‘aesthetic’.

It seems as if everyone who I have connected with via social media, who is involved in some form of creativity, has both their personal brand and aesthetic nailed.  Whether they are getting heaps of work due to their carefully-curated coastline-boasting feed, or their dusty pink/gleaming white squares are demanding the attention of the masses – it seems like everyone has it sorted.

The problem is I do not want to have to edit every photograph on my feed in the same style, post a picture of my face every three days or make sure there is a dash of yellow in every photo (the latter I tried for five consecutive posts before giving up.). I am slap-dash; I am ‘I want to post this photo so I will’ and I am so god-damn messy both online and in real-life.  My social media’s are a reflection of me.  Does this mean that I am not willing to conform and work hard on curating ‘the desirable’?  Or, does it simply outline that I already have my own thing going on?

So is that my aesthetic, my personal brand – messy me.  I like bright colours, intensified contrast and the saturation cranked right up.  My brand is essentially curated, colourful mess, just like my bedroom and the inside of my mind.  I do not have a stereotypically appealing aesthetic, but it is my aesthetic. Just because my feeds are not prim, proper depicted as gorgeous, it does not mean I am any less worthy of my place in the creative industry.

It is a tricky one, what with business empires being built-up rapidly via social media it is so difficult to feel as if you are not worthy.  But, not having an aesthetic is an aesthetic, and my place, as well as yours, is worthy.

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