You couldn’t find anybody to go to ‘that’ gig you have been looking forward to for months so you bottle up your fears, attend by yourself, and instantly feel your personality dissolve; mainly due to the fact there is not a single person in the room you recognise. They all recognise each other, but the mass of bodies do not blink your way.
Another scenario: you have moved to a new city, which breathes life into every waking moment however, you currently have not got a crowd of people banging on your door to take a walk with you, never mind attend a niche nightclub across town. So inevitably, you end up sulking in your room into a cuppa soup while munching on some Sriracha sauce on toast, simultaneously texting your mom.
A third and final situation which you could find yourself in, which wraps itself neatly under one, single heading – university. You might not live in halls, you might have already lived in halls, you might hate halls or, you might love halls. You either get on with the people you’re forced to couch with or you might dread every second you spend in the kitchen making a cup of tea. Your living arrangements may make you feel like a spoilt for choice princess or a prisoner in your own home.
Hopefully, you’ve never experienced any of the above situations, and are simply flourishing with friends. However, sometimes due to the draw of the lot, you are left in a predicament where you spend a lot of your time away from people. Choosing to be by yourself is different to being forced.
Being alone, when you’re used to a big group of pals and your immediate family surrounding you, honing in on your every move, is a big adjustment. When suddenly you’re stuck somewhere where, sometimes, your only company is yourself, it can be very difficult. Being alone can be really, really hard.
The obvious answer of how to cope when you’re alone is to talk to somebody. However, just chit chatting over Facebook Messenger or sparking up with a comment about the lecture to the girl sitting next to you with the long blonde hair and the shiny new Mac Book, isn’t always so satisfying. Sometimes, in situations like these, it’s better to keep your mouth shut at all costs.
Find time for yourself. That sounds ridiculous because all your time, when you’re coping with being alone, is spent accordingly with yourself but, there is a difference between passing time and spending time.
Passing time is scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr and Snapchat, looking at all the people you vaguely know, seemingly having a much better time than you , until it’s time to go to sleep. While a polar opposite is spending time and investing time in yourself, this can range from fake tanning, to reading, to writing, to decorating, to shopping to getting an early night in. Doing something which will benefit you is how you cope with being alone.
It’s a hard concept, but the answer lies in getting to know yourself and treating yourself with worthwhile activities, not punishing yourself for not having a significant number of people in your life. You are your own best friend and you should not be scared to admit that. You are the only person guaranteed to never let you down, never abandon you and never, ever cancel on a coffee date. Coping with being alone is difficult when you don’t love yourself, and don’t treat yourself like you love yourself. So invest some time in you.
E Scott x